Some days, I get quite disgusted with myself. I am such an emotional wimp… the slightest spark of sudden thought sends me spiraling into spasms of, I don’t know what. Sentiments? Sensations? Can’t think of a word that aptly describes the dull, throbbing ache in abbess of my chest. That spot there just above your abdomen. Ever felt that?
This unidentifiable feeling is so physical and so felt that I can’t determine if it is a bodily reaction or that thing I used to call emotion. I can’t put my finger to what and why but I do know who…
Do you realize that we feel in layers? Things that happen around us cause us to have a reaction. As much as that reaction is so vivid and stark it diminishes. Part of it fades away, gets forgotten but the rest of it permeates to a deeper layer of your being. This deeper layer is like a more constant entity. Like being stressed or tired? Or more positively that feeling that you’re okay, alright…
Then there is this layer that perplexes me now. When higher levels of stimuli are gone, then you think of someone, something and somehow neurons in your brain links parts of your life, so that this someone or something you thought of becomes catalysis for an associate feeling.
Can anyone identify or empathize?
Or am I the last confused adult around?
Have you ever wondered how to comfort your friend when he/she is down? (Kapo this is for you) I think the best way is to test if your friend wants to talk about it. If your friend hopes to bury everything away and move on, then please just talk nonsense and distract him/her.
Coz I think when there are significant surface emotions, the deeper layers can have time to infiltrate to this aquifer-like part in us that forms memories. Memories being mental rather than emotional just evoke nostalgia I guess, not sentiments.
I think I prefer to be rational.
Most of the time, people around me see me as this steady, rational, thinking type; Or this half-assed, crazy, full of nonsense person. Tough as nails or frivolous bimbo.
I am, as my brother euphemistically put it, “vulnerable in love”… vulnerable when I’m in love coz I have no control over my emotions. Vulnerable when it comes to matter of the heart coz despite what I say, I react in a totally different way.
Sigh… typically female.
I’m not talking about lurve like the romantic kind here. I don’t obsess bout it all the time. Ha… just most of the time these days.
I think at the end of it. I just wanna kick myself in the ass, in the head, in the stomach… (everywhere!) for having an absolute lack of control over myself.
Ai! Emotional wimp!
Stop it you idiot!
*grrr*
Bring on Miss Control Freak!
And bring out the whips!
Woo-hoo!
This unidentifiable feeling is so physical and so felt that I can’t determine if it is a bodily reaction or that thing I used to call emotion. I can’t put my finger to what and why but I do know who…
Do you realize that we feel in layers? Things that happen around us cause us to have a reaction. As much as that reaction is so vivid and stark it diminishes. Part of it fades away, gets forgotten but the rest of it permeates to a deeper layer of your being. This deeper layer is like a more constant entity. Like being stressed or tired? Or more positively that feeling that you’re okay, alright…
Then there is this layer that perplexes me now. When higher levels of stimuli are gone, then you think of someone, something and somehow neurons in your brain links parts of your life, so that this someone or something you thought of becomes catalysis for an associate feeling.
Can anyone identify or empathize?
Or am I the last confused adult around?
Have you ever wondered how to comfort your friend when he/she is down? (Kapo this is for you) I think the best way is to test if your friend wants to talk about it. If your friend hopes to bury everything away and move on, then please just talk nonsense and distract him/her.
Coz I think when there are significant surface emotions, the deeper layers can have time to infiltrate to this aquifer-like part in us that forms memories. Memories being mental rather than emotional just evoke nostalgia I guess, not sentiments.
I think I prefer to be rational.
Most of the time, people around me see me as this steady, rational, thinking type; Or this half-assed, crazy, full of nonsense person. Tough as nails or frivolous bimbo.
I am, as my brother euphemistically put it, “vulnerable in love”… vulnerable when I’m in love coz I have no control over my emotions. Vulnerable when it comes to matter of the heart coz despite what I say, I react in a totally different way.
Sigh… typically female.
I’m not talking about lurve like the romantic kind here. I don’t obsess bout it all the time. Ha… just most of the time these days.
I think at the end of it. I just wanna kick myself in the ass, in the head, in the stomach… (everywhere!) for having an absolute lack of control over myself.
Ai! Emotional wimp!
Stop it you idiot!
*grrr*
Bring on Miss Control Freak!
And bring out the whips!
Woo-hoo!
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Saturday, November 27, 2004 |
0 comments
