Badass gave me this conclusion today “你完了啦” that I’m too far gone into the deep-end. Which I am.
Like I’ve said before, the no. of posts is inversely proportionate to the state of my life. In a sense, there’s less of an innate need to put things into words now that my life is fuller. I’ve been going out often, meeting up with friends, doing things which are conventionally deemed more fun. Which I do.
A while ago, activities would distract me, take my mind off depressing thoughts, fill up the void in my heart… You know, the whole heartbreak thing that I was going on and on about. But that’s ‘like so yesterday’. *in a bitchy tone* Activities in the recent weeks have camouflaged potential heartbreak. Categorizing myself as ‘just sociable’ is foolish. Which I am.
Maybe if I don’t talk things out, I won’t dislike myself so much. Reality sucks big time. Envisioning the music that I have to face if I let things go on as it is now is life-threateningly scary. It has been said that I’m a coward. I don’t deny it, because that is what I am.
Won’t you get your act together? There’s really nothing much to lose now but the stakes will get increasingly higher. I will.
I must.
Like I’ve said before, the no. of posts is inversely proportionate to the state of my life. In a sense, there’s less of an innate need to put things into words now that my life is fuller. I’ve been going out often, meeting up with friends, doing things which are conventionally deemed more fun. Which I do.
A while ago, activities would distract me, take my mind off depressing thoughts, fill up the void in my heart… You know, the whole heartbreak thing that I was going on and on about. But that’s ‘like so yesterday’. *in a bitchy tone* Activities in the recent weeks have camouflaged potential heartbreak. Categorizing myself as ‘just sociable’ is foolish. Which I am.
Maybe if I don’t talk things out, I won’t dislike myself so much. Reality sucks big time. Envisioning the music that I have to face if I let things go on as it is now is life-threateningly scary. It has been said that I’m a coward. I don’t deny it, because that is what I am.
Won’t you get your act together? There’s really nothing much to lose now but the stakes will get increasingly higher. I will.
I must.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 30, 2005 |
0 comments
It was a quiet night. After the day’s chores were done, the little princess crouched in her favorite corner and took out from her treasure box, her hoard of toys.
“Hello Fishy… Hi, Red Flower, Here you are Letter…” greeted the little princess as she lined her precious toys in a row.
As she happily whispered to her toys, gently wiping the dirt off some of them, snuggling her face into others and tickling the little bellies of the ones looking grumpy, the little princess noticed all of a sudden that the golliwog was missing.
“Hmm…” the little princess thought, “Golliwog’s new, I wonder where he is?”
But the array of toys in front of her distracted her and she found joy in re-discovering toys like Red Flower that she thought she had misplaced. Yet, at the back of her mind, the little princess felt this nagging concern that she hasn’t seen Golliwog.
Suddenly, the little princess heard her evil stepmother stomping up to her hiding place in the attic. Hurriedly, the little princess stuffed her toys back into the treasure box.
“Clok! Clok! Clok!” went the footsteps of the evil stepmother.
The little princess crouched and trembled as she took refuge behind the box with tightly pursed lips and eyes wide with fear. Her evil stepmother was coming up the stairs!
Then as the footsteps gradually grew softer, the little princess heaved a sigh of relief. Her anxieties had made her see horror in every slightest sound and movement.
Although she was now free to play again, her heightened state of emotions took away her desire for her toys. Suddenly devoid of the previous strong sensation, the little princess dejectedly sat on her treasure chest.
Her blank mind sought to occupy itself and unexpectedly, her thoughts fell on the missing Golliwog again. Although Golli wasn’t her favorite toy, it was a new toy, and the little Princess has been playing with it often the past few days. Black Golli with his frowning face and mess/mass of hair scares the little princess at times. But somehow the little princess is unexplainably drawn to it.
The little princess sat on top of her treasure chest, swinging her legs back and forth when all of a sudden, from the corner of her eye, she saw a patch of black in the corner.
“There you are! Naughty Golli!” the little princess cried, conveniently forgetting that the toy had been there all the while.
Then, the little girl strode up to the toy, picked it up, threw it into the box and promptly slammed the lid of the box shut.
~ THE END ~
Hah… perverse tale?
Yea… coz we’re all perverse.
“Hello Fishy… Hi, Red Flower, Here you are Letter…” greeted the little princess as she lined her precious toys in a row.
As she happily whispered to her toys, gently wiping the dirt off some of them, snuggling her face into others and tickling the little bellies of the ones looking grumpy, the little princess noticed all of a sudden that the golliwog was missing.
“Hmm…” the little princess thought, “Golliwog’s new, I wonder where he is?”
But the array of toys in front of her distracted her and she found joy in re-discovering toys like Red Flower that she thought she had misplaced. Yet, at the back of her mind, the little princess felt this nagging concern that she hasn’t seen Golliwog.
Suddenly, the little princess heard her evil stepmother stomping up to her hiding place in the attic. Hurriedly, the little princess stuffed her toys back into the treasure box.
“Clok! Clok! Clok!” went the footsteps of the evil stepmother.
The little princess crouched and trembled as she took refuge behind the box with tightly pursed lips and eyes wide with fear. Her evil stepmother was coming up the stairs!
Then as the footsteps gradually grew softer, the little princess heaved a sigh of relief. Her anxieties had made her see horror in every slightest sound and movement.
Although she was now free to play again, her heightened state of emotions took away her desire for her toys. Suddenly devoid of the previous strong sensation, the little princess dejectedly sat on her treasure chest.
Her blank mind sought to occupy itself and unexpectedly, her thoughts fell on the missing Golliwog again. Although Golli wasn’t her favorite toy, it was a new toy, and the little Princess has been playing with it often the past few days. Black Golli with his frowning face and mess/mass of hair scares the little princess at times. But somehow the little princess is unexplainably drawn to it.
The little princess sat on top of her treasure chest, swinging her legs back and forth when all of a sudden, from the corner of her eye, she saw a patch of black in the corner.
“There you are! Naughty Golli!” the little princess cried, conveniently forgetting that the toy had been there all the while.
Then, the little girl strode up to the toy, picked it up, threw it into the box and promptly slammed the lid of the box shut.
~ THE END ~
Hah… perverse tale?
Yea… coz we’re all perverse.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Thursday, January 27, 2005 |
2 comments
IG commented that I haven’t been updating my blog. Did my maths and it was (only) 5 days since the previous one. So to compensate, shall post TWO today!
Haha…
It’s freaking 3am and I’m doing nonsense things like this.
K, what have I been up to since Hari Raya Haji? Other than living a life and hence not bonding with my laptop…. Ha…
Hmm… met up with people mostly…
Sat: YF, my cousin’s 21st Birthday dinner…
There are pictures for the later event! Just haven’t gotten my hands on them yet. Which is also partly the reason for my non-posts. Wanna post the pictures and the events together mah… Haha!
Lazy say lazy…
Sun: Church, Norman, Xiao-yi’s place, Granny’s
Norman was a… hmm… interesting experience. Hanging out at Xiaoyi’s was cool coz the aircon was blasting and also coz I managed to catch up on C’s love life. Hee… I’m really just concerned…*palms up*
Mon: School
Mundane and meaningless… haha… highlights? basked in the light of the photocopying machine and the glow of the TV watching black and white silent movies.
Tues: School and CG dinner in town
Slept in the movie screening… completely missed the climax of the show. That’s the thing with silent movies, you can’t even count on the music to wake you up. Piano accompaniment is just too soothing… haha…
Seminar: Was more interested in talking to M than in Frederick Douglass. Sigh… I’m a total frivolous airhead…
Dinner: full and interesting coz it is Thaipusam (is that how its spelt?) and the Parkmall area was full of celebrating Indians. Quite exciting… too bad I couldn’t stay and check out the Indian men… huh? Oh… I mean check out the procession. Yea, yea… that’s what I meant…procession…
And Wed? Wee hours of the morning typing lots of nonsense and then gonna bake later when I wake up.
Beg for treats!
Sit!
Roll over!
Erm… heh…sorry…
Xiao-yun plays dead.
Haha…
It’s freaking 3am and I’m doing nonsense things like this.
K, what have I been up to since Hari Raya Haji? Other than living a life and hence not bonding with my laptop…. Ha…
Hmm… met up with people mostly…
Sat: YF, my cousin’s 21st Birthday dinner…
There are pictures for the later event! Just haven’t gotten my hands on them yet. Which is also partly the reason for my non-posts. Wanna post the pictures and the events together mah… Haha!
Lazy say lazy…
Sun: Church, Norman, Xiao-yi’s place, Granny’s
Norman was a… hmm… interesting experience. Hanging out at Xiaoyi’s was cool coz the aircon was blasting and also coz I managed to catch up on C’s love life. Hee… I’m really just concerned…*palms up*
Mon: School
Mundane and meaningless… haha… highlights? basked in the light of the photocopying machine and the glow of the TV watching black and white silent movies.
Tues: School and CG dinner in town
Slept in the movie screening… completely missed the climax of the show. That’s the thing with silent movies, you can’t even count on the music to wake you up. Piano accompaniment is just too soothing… haha…
Seminar: Was more interested in talking to M than in Frederick Douglass. Sigh… I’m a total frivolous airhead…
Dinner: full and interesting coz it is Thaipusam (is that how its spelt?) and the Parkmall area was full of celebrating Indians. Quite exciting… too bad I couldn’t stay and check out the Indian men… huh? Oh… I mean check out the procession. Yea, yea… that’s what I meant…procession…
And Wed? Wee hours of the morning typing lots of nonsense and then gonna bake later when I wake up.
Beg for treats!
Sit!
Roll over!
Erm… heh…sorry…
Xiao-yun plays dead.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 26, 2005 |
0 comments
It took someone with an alternative viewpoint and who speaks up strongly for it to jolt me into active thinking again. Do the connect-the-neurons and what do you get?
Commitment and courage.
Was bestowed with the title of “Mistress of Vague and Non-committal answers”, and as much as I was initially miffed and chagrined to be cornered into being specific, I have to admit that I am (im)precisely so.
Remember in JC when Ms Ting used to comment that my geo essays were “wishy washy” and “airy fairy”… (darn! Feeling sentimental thinking bout being scolded… I’m such a sucker for punishment…) I really didn’t get what she was complaining about. To me, it is very clear when I make just one general sweeping statement. It does encompass everything does it not?
And then I always explain/excuse that I’m a Big Picture person. Big Picture you know? The grandiose, *elegant gesture with hand* BIG picture… Not the small one, mind you…and most people, attempting to be diplomatic and liberally accepting would just “recognize our differences”.
Hah…seems familiar? Bet you do that often too. Disagreeing with someone but not pointing it out and arguing for your stand.
I’m not sure if it’s simply coz of our social education, the government (aha! conspiracy theory!) drums it into our skulls that we are all entitled to our own beliefs as long as (this is the clause) they don’t infringe on other people. Therefore, bearing the Confucian principle of 己所不欲，勿施于人 (Ha! Just gotta show off my Chinese…=p) ala the “Do unto others what you would have others do unto you” teaching, I usually just shut up. When confronted with differences, I’ll take the elevated, ‘enlightened’ position and…
Suck It Up!
Ha…
K, ‘nuff of sociology tutorial…
I realize that for me, when I am vague and won’t commit myself to an opinion, I actually just lack courage.
Me? Me? The gungho, adventurous, free-spirited? (or so I like to think… let me indulge in my imagined self for a while longer…)
As I’m lazy to re-narrate and beautify the conversation I had with my friend. So just cut and paste from history… Anyway, this is the part where you can gloat while I’m being scolded:
(that's me in bold)
you know
you are in danger
a lot of relationships have been screwed up because of your kind of thinking, because it leads the way to not making an effort
it is a chicken and egg problem
lemme tell you that true love does not fall from the sky
you did not get it if you think like that
which means you did not understand all the disney stories either
yea...been scolded for that before
you are the one who makes true love, real love, the so called Love happen
so if you start something you should just think, yeah this is the one and i will make it work
instead of saying: i will see how lah, if works works if dun work then dun work lah
this is a very cowardly thing to do
those who wait for true love are cowards
ouch
Well, obviously I don’t buy the above mentioned theory yet. (and equally obvious is that I barely managed to get a word in edgewise… hee!) I still believe in the wait-see and being cautious. (See! I’m improving… I’m making MY stand!) But the last bit about being cowardly really got to me.
Where does the line end between cautiousness, courage and reckless behavior? I think I’ve been both reckless and cautious. And looking back, at the end of the day, I still prefer cautious.
Call me a coward but cautiousness is safe.
Be safe, Not sorry. =p
So there! My first foray into the land of the courageous, voicing (and publishing, no less…) my non-glamorous opinions.
*beamz*
Commitment and courage.
Was bestowed with the title of “Mistress of Vague and Non-committal answers”, and as much as I was initially miffed and chagrined to be cornered into being specific, I have to admit that I am (im)precisely so.
Remember in JC when Ms Ting used to comment that my geo essays were “wishy washy” and “airy fairy”… (darn! Feeling sentimental thinking bout being scolded… I’m such a sucker for punishment…) I really didn’t get what she was complaining about. To me, it is very clear when I make just one general sweeping statement. It does encompass everything does it not?
And then I always explain/excuse that I’m a Big Picture person. Big Picture you know? The grandiose, *elegant gesture with hand* BIG picture… Not the small one, mind you…and most people, attempting to be diplomatic and liberally accepting would just “recognize our differences”.
Hah…seems familiar? Bet you do that often too. Disagreeing with someone but not pointing it out and arguing for your stand.
I’m not sure if it’s simply coz of our social education, the government (aha! conspiracy theory!) drums it into our skulls that we are all entitled to our own beliefs as long as (this is the clause) they don’t infringe on other people. Therefore, bearing the Confucian principle of 己所不欲，勿施于人 (Ha! Just gotta show off my Chinese…=p) ala the “Do unto others what you would have others do unto you” teaching, I usually just shut up. When confronted with differences, I’ll take the elevated, ‘enlightened’ position and…
Suck It Up!
Ha…
K, ‘nuff of sociology tutorial…
I realize that for me, when I am vague and won’t commit myself to an opinion, I actually just lack courage.
Me? Me? The gungho, adventurous, free-spirited? (or so I like to think… let me indulge in my imagined self for a while longer…)
As I’m lazy to re-narrate and beautify the conversation I had with my friend. So just cut and paste from history… Anyway, this is the part where you can gloat while I’m being scolded:
(that's me in bold)
you know
you are in danger
a lot of relationships have been screwed up because of your kind of thinking, because it leads the way to not making an effort
it is a chicken and egg problem
lemme tell you that true love does not fall from the sky
you did not get it if you think like that
which means you did not understand all the disney stories either
yea...been scolded for that before
you are the one who makes true love, real love, the so called Love happen
so if you start something you should just think, yeah this is the one and i will make it work
instead of saying: i will see how lah, if works works if dun work then dun work lah
this is a very cowardly thing to do
those who wait for true love are cowards
ouch
Well, obviously I don’t buy the above mentioned theory yet. (and equally obvious is that I barely managed to get a word in edgewise… hee!) I still believe in the wait-see and being cautious. (See! I’m improving… I’m making MY stand!) But the last bit about being cowardly really got to me.
Where does the line end between cautiousness, courage and reckless behavior? I think I’ve been both reckless and cautious. And looking back, at the end of the day, I still prefer cautious.
Call me a coward but cautiousness is safe.
Be safe, Not sorry. =p
So there! My first foray into the land of the courageous, voicing (and publishing, no less…) my non-glamorous opinions.
*beamz*
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 26, 2005 |
0 comments
A thoroughly enjoyable day today… Meeting up with the Angels really make the end of a day complete. In brief, let me summarize the events that made today (yesterday), one of those days that when you recall, the remnants of the day, leaves a slight smile on your face.
1. Woke up late in the morning. This is a major treat for me coz I’m such a pig… haha… and as JY can testify, I really enjoy lazing in bed. *grinz* Oink oink!
2. Met Badass. Was a good, bond-y bus ride to Suntec. Feels really good to catch up and hang out with a friend who is on the same wavelength but still different enough to offer alternative views on things.
3. Shopped at Suntec. Haha! Obviously there’s no need to elaborate on why shopping is great… But since I’m at it, let me just show off my great buys…
(male readers should probably just scroll down)
1 satin-type material black pants
1 pvc brown pants
1 Island shop purple top
1 satin-y off white top
1 black off shoulder knit top
1 pair of black heels
4. Went to meet my darling Angels! Dinner at F’s place (my 1st Malay friend!) was super… lots of sumptuous food, (Thanks to F and Mom who started preparing 3 days in advance!) fun people to hang out with, eye candy (e.T’s zoo!) and of course… “Polar Bear”!
5. Went home to see all the wondrous new appliances all there! New TV (yeah!), new microwave and best of all… Mummy bought me a cake mixer and a small oven! Hooray! Baking! *grinz* Place your orders yea? Heh!
6. Then, Mummy very nicely reimbursed part of the above mentioned shopping. *beams* I didn’t ask for it k? But she offered… so nice…
7. Finally, at night, “expanded my territory”… (JY!) chatted to more Angels online, and L until 4am! Gosh…talk about getting to know someone.
Come to think of it, when retelling happy or pleasant events, it is always less interesting than recapping the angst ridden occurrences. But then, less interesting writing is an apt exchange for a more agreeable life.
And Nurul, you have to introduce me to those friends who ascertain your views. Ha!
1. Woke up late in the morning. This is a major treat for me coz I’m such a pig… haha… and as JY can testify, I really enjoy lazing in bed. *grinz* Oink oink!
2. Met Badass. Was a good, bond-y bus ride to Suntec. Feels really good to catch up and hang out with a friend who is on the same wavelength but still different enough to offer alternative views on things.
3. Shopped at Suntec. Haha! Obviously there’s no need to elaborate on why shopping is great… But since I’m at it, let me just show off my great buys…
(male readers should probably just scroll down)
1 satin-type material black pants
1 pvc brown pants
1 Island shop purple top
1 satin-y off white top
1 black off shoulder knit top
1 pair of black heels
4. Went to meet my darling Angels! Dinner at F’s place (my 1st Malay friend!) was super… lots of sumptuous food, (Thanks to F and Mom who started preparing 3 days in advance!) fun people to hang out with, eye candy (e.T’s zoo!) and of course… “Polar Bear”!
5. Went home to see all the wondrous new appliances all there! New TV (yeah!), new microwave and best of all… Mummy bought me a cake mixer and a small oven! Hooray! Baking! *grinz* Place your orders yea? Heh!
6. Then, Mummy very nicely reimbursed part of the above mentioned shopping. *beams* I didn’t ask for it k? But she offered… so nice…
7. Finally, at night, “expanded my territory”… (JY!) chatted to more Angels online, and L until 4am! Gosh…talk about getting to know someone.
Come to think of it, when retelling happy or pleasant events, it is always less interesting than recapping the angst ridden occurrences. But then, less interesting writing is an apt exchange for a more agreeable life.
And Nurul, you have to introduce me to those friends who ascertain your views. Ha!
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Saturday, January 22, 2005 |
4 comments
They say curiosity killed the cat. Well, I was curious but I won't say I was killed... probably just scratched a little. Some resolutions once made, ought to be kept on a more vigilant scale. Else the cat, like the proverbial moth, will get its fur scorched by the fire it is ever attracted to.
Got that kitty kitty?
Got that kitty kitty?
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Friday, January 21, 2005 |
0 comments
I’ve discovered a new love!
Feeling the beginnings of an attraction. I spend my free time trying to get to know hir’s every little thing. Understanding hir’s limitations, how far I can stretch hir.
Yet, knowing that my understanding of hir is limited.
Caught in the dilemma… should I develop the interest? Would it grow into something deeper? Can I afford to spend the time? Is my love valid? Real or an imitation? Should I compromise my principles and resolution?
So confused…
I’m… I’m… I’m falling in love with…
Photo-editing!
Ha…
Should I go get (pirated) photo-shop? The original is $600++ you know… but I don’t use pirated software…
Hmm… think think thinking thinking…
Feeling the beginnings of an attraction. I spend my free time trying to get to know hir’s every little thing. Understanding hir’s limitations, how far I can stretch hir.
Yet, knowing that my understanding of hir is limited.
Caught in the dilemma… should I develop the interest? Would it grow into something deeper? Can I afford to spend the time? Is my love valid? Real or an imitation? Should I compromise my principles and resolution?
So confused…
I’m… I’m… I’m falling in love with…
Photo-editing!
Ha…
Should I go get (pirated) photo-shop? The original is $600++ you know… but I don’t use pirated software…
Hmm… think think thinking thinking…
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 19, 2005 |
1 comments
I’ve got a very important question to ask you.
You must answer truthfully ya?
Am I…am I…am I…
Fat?
*bleahz*
The recent ‘spam’ of fat comments has heightened my insecurity.
First of, in India, that Iggy said that I was fat at least 4 times. (I keep count and I remember k? Women are not notoriously known to be petty for nothing. =P)
Then, after all the curry and potatoes (carbo-laden diet) in India, it was the relax and enjoy Bangkok trip. What’s the point of calorie counting when you’re on holiday right? Just going to spoil your own and other people’s fun… So anyway, with this altruistic, self-sacrificial goal in mind, I tried out all the roadside delicacies and the experience is now imprinted in all eternity.
As they say,
“Brain cells come and go but FAT cells remain FOREVER!”
My next blow came from that disastrous haircut. So short and unflattering it made my face look so round like Betty Boop.
Following that, yesterday, Ewn said that I should watch what I put into my mouth. Coz apparently, when I sat down, she noticed my tummy. Gosh! How? Noticeable tummy!
=(
The knockout came just now when I bumped into L. Apparently, $%^&*-ing QS referred to me as the “Fat Girl”. Fat girl? Fuck you I say…
Damn pissed of at that la…
Dignity insulted.
Stupid, incompetent, short fart!
Haha! Feels so good now after slinging some mud…
Immature you say?
AH! AH! Lalala…I’m not listening!
*palm and forehead*
You must answer truthfully ya?
Am I…am I…am I…
Fat?
*bleahz*
The recent ‘spam’ of fat comments has heightened my insecurity.
First of, in India, that Iggy said that I was fat at least 4 times. (I keep count and I remember k? Women are not notoriously known to be petty for nothing. =P)
Then, after all the curry and potatoes (carbo-laden diet) in India, it was the relax and enjoy Bangkok trip. What’s the point of calorie counting when you’re on holiday right? Just going to spoil your own and other people’s fun… So anyway, with this altruistic, self-sacrificial goal in mind, I tried out all the roadside delicacies and the experience is now imprinted in all eternity.
As they say,
“Brain cells come and go but FAT cells remain FOREVER!”
My next blow came from that disastrous haircut. So short and unflattering it made my face look so round like Betty Boop.
Following that, yesterday, Ewn said that I should watch what I put into my mouth. Coz apparently, when I sat down, she noticed my tummy. Gosh! How? Noticeable tummy!
=(
The knockout came just now when I bumped into L. Apparently, $%^&*-ing QS referred to me as the “Fat Girl”. Fat girl? Fuck you I say…
Damn pissed of at that la…
Dignity insulted.
Stupid, incompetent, short fart!
Haha! Feels so good now after slinging some mud…
Immature you say?
AH! AH! Lalala…I’m not listening!
*palm and forehead*
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 19, 2005 |
1 comments
I’m a very bored person…single-fingeredly boosted the hit rate of a number of people’s blogs… Coz I keep clicking to see if they’ve updated… several times a day.
Update your blogs people… I’m so so bored I’m reading that irritating blogger’s site…
Sigh… bored bored bored…
Though I do have lots lots lots to read. And also a great multitude of things to do.
No motivation leh… how? Now brown cow…
Sian Sianz siAns sIaNz SiAns SIANZ!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a more allegro note, received a sms from darling didi today telling me that he’s already in Dubai…So nice to receive sms from him. No need to buy present from Dubai lah… silly boy.
Get me a handphone from Spore… same same.
Haha…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiara asked me bout HT today. Tiara nonchalantly asked: “So how’s HT?” but after a while, it got quite clear that Tiara was kinda agitated that HT is now trying to ignore Tiara. Try and dig info from me…
Hah! I’m too smart to fall for that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While meeting with the Angels, was quite teased bout A. Was quite enjoyable frankly… harmless teasing is quite fun when you have sporting participants.
And ONLY with sporting participants please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do I let a friend know that I have extra/insider’s info? Potentially hurting to that friend. But yet dunno if the friend already know or not…
Vexed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And trying to blog and hide the gender of the persons I’m talking about is just so troublesome.
Update your blogs people… I’m so so bored I’m reading that irritating blogger’s site…
Sigh… bored bored bored…
Though I do have lots lots lots to read. And also a great multitude of things to do.
No motivation leh… how? Now brown cow…
Sian Sianz siAns sIaNz SiAns SIANZ!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a more allegro note, received a sms from darling didi today telling me that he’s already in Dubai…So nice to receive sms from him. No need to buy present from Dubai lah… silly boy.
Get me a handphone from Spore… same same.
Haha…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tiara asked me bout HT today. Tiara nonchalantly asked: “So how’s HT?” but after a while, it got quite clear that Tiara was kinda agitated that HT is now trying to ignore Tiara. Try and dig info from me…
Hah! I’m too smart to fall for that!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While meeting with the Angels, was quite teased bout A. Was quite enjoyable frankly… harmless teasing is quite fun when you have sporting participants.
And ONLY with sporting participants please.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do I let a friend know that I have extra/insider’s info? Potentially hurting to that friend. But yet dunno if the friend already know or not…
Vexed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And trying to blog and hide the gender of the persons I’m talking about is just so troublesome.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Tuesday, January 18, 2005 |
1 comments
HD says I need to stop whining.
*ugh ugh ugh*
I dun waaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn...........
hah!
Ok, point taken. I'll try not to...
See, you don't always have to say things I wanna hear. I take positive, constructive criticism just fine too!
(Hrmp! Dun friend you!)
Oh yea, all the best for your last papers! See you real real soon!
Luv,
No. 5
*ugh ugh ugh*
I dun waaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnn...........
hah!
Ok, point taken. I'll try not to...
See, you don't always have to say things I wanna hear. I take positive, constructive criticism just fine too!
(Hrmp! Dun friend you!)
Oh yea, all the best for your last papers! See you real real soon!
Luv,
No. 5
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Monday, January 17, 2005 |
0 comments
It has been said that a woman's feminity is directly related to the length of her hair. Here's the dutiful me with the *hrmph* other woman... haha.... No lah... It's me and my India trip Vice-Leader (Edwina) and Leader (Mingwei)... He's enjoying life yea?
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
0 comments
To be fair, I was pretty gungho when my hair was longer too... Here's me "da-ing" with Da Jie Da....
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
0 comments
Me and my stylist at a gala event. (Argh, ok ok...)
Reality Check: Alvin and I at J&J's wedding on Fri...
Darn u spoilers!
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
0 comments
I've got my hair cut on impulse in Bangkok. =( Look like Betty Boop now... This is one of the few times when I think I look ok... haha... so there. This is how I look now on really really good days. Hee.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
0 comments
Took an online quiz to find out my idea of Prince Charming. Thought I'll post this one up to let concerned people know that I'm still normal (and straight) even though I keep saying that I hate love. Just wanna remind myself constantly that romantic love sucks big time for me. Yea... So love from friends and family etc is just fine. (go on and shower me with your affection!) Don't worry ah... Anyway, here it goes...
My (supposedly) dream guy is:
The King of Kindness
Your idea of the perfect prince is one that's sensitive and strong. He's attentive to your needs and even knows that while glass slippers are certainly beautiful, they just aren't comfortable footwear. (That's why he'll hold your purse for you while you shop for new shoes at the Nine West sale!) Your guy also understands why picking you up on his white horse (or in his Honda) is so much better than just meeting you at the restaurant -- even if it is the hottest new spot in the kingdom.
But the problem with getting the royal treatment on a regular basis is that even the most grateful girl is bound to get, well, bored. Your nice guy doesn't have to finish last though. Make sure that he understands your needs: space, a partner with a backbone, etc. But be nice about it.
And if you landed in this category but haven't found a man who matches this description yet, take heart -- and a tip from author Wendy Paris. "Whoever you are, you are someone's ideal," she says in Happily Ever After: The Fairy Tale Formula for Lasting Love. "Hold out for someone who sees you as his." What better way to live happily ever after!
Hah... in other (HT's) words:
No matter how ugly you are, someone will love you.
Signing off,
Hate Bear
My (supposedly) dream guy is:
The King of Kindness
Your idea of the perfect prince is one that's sensitive and strong. He's attentive to your needs and even knows that while glass slippers are certainly beautiful, they just aren't comfortable footwear. (That's why he'll hold your purse for you while you shop for new shoes at the Nine West sale!) Your guy also understands why picking you up on his white horse (or in his Honda) is so much better than just meeting you at the restaurant -- even if it is the hottest new spot in the kingdom.
But the problem with getting the royal treatment on a regular basis is that even the most grateful girl is bound to get, well, bored. Your nice guy doesn't have to finish last though. Make sure that he understands your needs: space, a partner with a backbone, etc. But be nice about it.
And if you landed in this category but haven't found a man who matches this description yet, take heart -- and a tip from author Wendy Paris. "Whoever you are, you are someone's ideal," she says in Happily Ever After: The Fairy Tale Formula for Lasting Love. "Hold out for someone who sees you as his." What better way to live happily ever after!
Hah... in other (HT's) words:
No matter how ugly you are, someone will love you.
Signing off,
Hate Bear
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 16, 2005 |
0 comments
It has been said and established that I can’t hold my liquor.
Puked after drinking (only) 2 glasses of margarita at Holland V just now. Felt terrible, especially the moments just before the regurgitation was emitted from my stomach. The worst thing is: the toilet was occupied at that moment, so I had to hold my puke in my mouth for a couple of minutes.
Eeeww….
Anyway, this brings me to a point that we often think that we know ourselves. I always say that I’m a sensible girl who knows my limit. But freak accidents/unexpected events crop up. Thinking that “I know I won’t”, “I know my limits” or even just “It won’t happen to me” is really a trap that people often fall into. This drinking incident and the events happening to the friends around me have proven that the unexpected often occur to the most improbable people.
A note to myself: Be careful and be alert… Low crime doesn’t mean No crime? (haha… Singapore Police Force spokesperson) Temptation is actually not lurking to catch us unaware, but it twinkles so prettily at eye level that it’s just so irresistible.
“Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil…”
Puked after drinking (only) 2 glasses of margarita at Holland V just now. Felt terrible, especially the moments just before the regurgitation was emitted from my stomach. The worst thing is: the toilet was occupied at that moment, so I had to hold my puke in my mouth for a couple of minutes.
Eeeww….
Anyway, this brings me to a point that we often think that we know ourselves. I always say that I’m a sensible girl who knows my limit. But freak accidents/unexpected events crop up. Thinking that “I know I won’t”, “I know my limits” or even just “It won’t happen to me” is really a trap that people often fall into. This drinking incident and the events happening to the friends around me have proven that the unexpected often occur to the most improbable people.
A note to myself: Be careful and be alert… Low crime doesn’t mean No crime? (haha… Singapore Police Force spokesperson) Temptation is actually not lurking to catch us unaware, but it twinkles so prettily at eye level that it’s just so irresistible.
“Lead me not into temptation but deliver me from evil…”
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Saturday, January 15, 2005 |
0 comments
It’s nice getting a mention on someone’s blog. Saw my name in full on A’s weblog and it was quite an Oh! Hmm… Cool! moment. A rather cheap thrill really but still a thrill nevertheless. The same thrill I got when IT msged and wanted to meet up… Realized these few days that featuring, whether very or just slightly or none at all, in the lives of others is rather significant to me.
This needy nature kinda disturbs me. Think this is one of those major unresolved issues in my life – my need to be loved by everybody. It comes in different forms, sometimes I say that I need to be respected, other times it’s expressed as being desired… guess what I’m trying to say is that there are different forms to the same underlying need.
I’m darn insecure I think. Not secure in accepting and loving myself for who and what I am. This results in these consequent needs. Replacement therapy? Very likely.
Sigh… kinda down these few days when I’m left alone… Seeing others move on with their lives in bliss highlights my own lonely state. I’m happy to see them happy really. But then I’m just caught in the dichotomy of being mentally very aware that I need to stay love-free but yet emotionally seeking solace. In a sense I’m glad that I see the trap before me, which is why I place extra emphasis on the nice friends I have around me. Coz whether you are aware of it or not, I need your company to pull through this low patch. So dear friend, if you are reading this, be generous in spending time with me k?
That’s quite a sad plea huh?
This needy nature kinda disturbs me. Think this is one of those major unresolved issues in my life – my need to be loved by everybody. It comes in different forms, sometimes I say that I need to be respected, other times it’s expressed as being desired… guess what I’m trying to say is that there are different forms to the same underlying need.
I’m darn insecure I think. Not secure in accepting and loving myself for who and what I am. This results in these consequent needs. Replacement therapy? Very likely.
Sigh… kinda down these few days when I’m left alone… Seeing others move on with their lives in bliss highlights my own lonely state. I’m happy to see them happy really. But then I’m just caught in the dichotomy of being mentally very aware that I need to stay love-free but yet emotionally seeking solace. In a sense I’m glad that I see the trap before me, which is why I place extra emphasis on the nice friends I have around me. Coz whether you are aware of it or not, I need your company to pull through this low patch. So dear friend, if you are reading this, be generous in spending time with me k?
That’s quite a sad plea huh?
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Friday, January 14, 2005 |
0 comments
Thought I better put up an update coz ppl were having reaction to my last entry and my msn nick.
Firstly, thanks to Iggy, Kel, Bel, HD who saw my “pissed off” nick and came to ask me how I was. Coz by chatting with you guys, my piss-ness was elevated. Despite all my insistence on being different, guess I’m just the same as every other wimpy, emotionally dependent, disturbed person who needs to know that there are people out there who care to feel soothed, concerned and loved.
Anyway, just back from supper with A and XY. In summary, it was a really fun talking nonsense catching up session... While walking back from the bus stop, cheerful and high from the good company, two things dawned upon me and evaporated the piss of the day.
Alpha: I need people around me to occupy me. Left alone to my own devices, I’ll brood and imagine things to be upset about. This sucks.
Beta: I listen to my mom too much. No really, that’s possible. I take stuff she says to heart too hard. Some things are gems of wisdom, but she has her off-peak times as well and when she says things that probe the raw spots in me, it really does get to me.
Conclusion? I need more growing up.
Quite ironic that as I increasingly moan to friends that I’m growing old, I am more aware of how much I need to mature as a person.
Late bloomer?
Firstly, thanks to Iggy, Kel, Bel, HD who saw my “pissed off” nick and came to ask me how I was. Coz by chatting with you guys, my piss-ness was elevated. Despite all my insistence on being different, guess I’m just the same as every other wimpy, emotionally dependent, disturbed person who needs to know that there are people out there who care to feel soothed, concerned and loved.
Anyway, just back from supper with A and XY. In summary, it was a really fun talking nonsense catching up session... While walking back from the bus stop, cheerful and high from the good company, two things dawned upon me and evaporated the piss of the day.
Alpha: I need people around me to occupy me. Left alone to my own devices, I’ll brood and imagine things to be upset about. This sucks.
Beta: I listen to my mom too much. No really, that’s possible. I take stuff she says to heart too hard. Some things are gems of wisdom, but she has her off-peak times as well and when she says things that probe the raw spots in me, it really does get to me.
Conclusion? I need more growing up.
Quite ironic that as I increasingly moan to friends that I’m growing old, I am more aware of how much I need to mature as a person.
Late bloomer?
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 12, 2005 |
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Feeling really shitty now… really pissed off with I dunno what.
First of, just bloody got insulted by my mom that I don’t appreciate home and that after looking at my photos, I don’t really want to do com service but am just interested in going to play with friends. All because I made a passing remark that I’ve an offer to go Aceh for a week.
What the heck?
Just because I don’t tell you everything means that you can assume that what you hear is everything can? Don’t assume. Freaking pissed me off…
Heard also today that my ex has a new girlfriend. Heck! He was supposed to tell me first! Bloody hell…whatever promises/pact one makes is always cancelled after a relationship ends. Come to think of it, he said that AFTER we broke up…What still be friends? What I’ll still be here for you? Sod it lah… I feel so disrespected. What am I? Your time-filler? To be totally erased and eradicated after so called love ends?
While I’m at it, might as well curse QS as well. Damned guy blocked or deleted me from his msn I think. That and other things that he does to extract himself. Bloody hell! Do I resemble a virus? Do I feed off your rotting flesh? Is there a need to be so bloody anally antiseptic? Arsehole.
(Hah! I love the imagery.)
Hate being a woman sometimes. Fucking emotions.
I’m so frustrated I feel like crying.
And screaming.
The worst thing is that I don’t even know what’s irking me.
Gosh! I hate *&^%$#@!
K, at least some of that unidentifiable god-knows-what is out of my system.
And I’m sorry that my foul words have sullied your eyes.
Argh…Shit... why do I even bother.
First of, just bloody got insulted by my mom that I don’t appreciate home and that after looking at my photos, I don’t really want to do com service but am just interested in going to play with friends. All because I made a passing remark that I’ve an offer to go Aceh for a week.
What the heck?
Just because I don’t tell you everything means that you can assume that what you hear is everything can? Don’t assume. Freaking pissed me off…
Heard also today that my ex has a new girlfriend. Heck! He was supposed to tell me first! Bloody hell…whatever promises/pact one makes is always cancelled after a relationship ends. Come to think of it, he said that AFTER we broke up…What still be friends? What I’ll still be here for you? Sod it lah… I feel so disrespected. What am I? Your time-filler? To be totally erased and eradicated after so called love ends?
While I’m at it, might as well curse QS as well. Damned guy blocked or deleted me from his msn I think. That and other things that he does to extract himself. Bloody hell! Do I resemble a virus? Do I feed off your rotting flesh? Is there a need to be so bloody anally antiseptic? Arsehole.
(Hah! I love the imagery.)
Hate being a woman sometimes. Fucking emotions.
I’m so frustrated I feel like crying.
And screaming.
The worst thing is that I don’t even know what’s irking me.
Gosh! I hate *&^%$#@!
K, at least some of that unidentifiable god-knows-what is out of my system.
And I’m sorry that my foul words have sullied your eyes.
Argh…Shit... why do I even bother.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 12, 2005 |
1 comments
Yeah! I’m going to Bangkok!
Nothing altruistic this time except to boost the local economy. Heh!
So dun complain that I didn’t tell you. I’m telling you now…
Will be back on late at night on the 10th… missing the first day of term. Hee… naughty naughty… but obviously, I’m not exactly remorseful. Ok…Only slightly…it still is my resolution at the beginning of every sem to be a nerd.
But, shall leave the brain churning and reflection to my return… need my sleep tonight.
Er… dun miss me?
But I doubt me with “No friends, No family” will be missed much.
Drifting off to sleep and then to shop…=P
Nothing altruistic this time except to boost the local economy. Heh!
So dun complain that I didn’t tell you. I’m telling you now…
Will be back on late at night on the 10th… missing the first day of term. Hee… naughty naughty… but obviously, I’m not exactly remorseful. Ok…Only slightly…it still is my resolution at the beginning of every sem to be a nerd.
But, shall leave the brain churning and reflection to my return… need my sleep tonight.
Er… dun miss me?
But I doubt me with “No friends, No family” will be missed much.
Drifting off to sleep and then to shop…=P
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Friday, January 07, 2005 |
0 comments
This is my best souvenir from Project Angel 5.
Like most people, PA is not my first experience with community service, yet it was only during this trip that the importance of community service became etched in my heart.
Guess it really takes someone to inspire us and to propel changes subsequently in our lives. Visiting the various Missionaries of Charity (the Charities initiated by Mother Theresa), we saw the plight of the poorest of the poor, physically and mentally handicapped children abandoned by their parents and people lying in rows unable to move from the line that’s heading to death.
Our hearts were moved. But when we saw the lack of concern given to those whom who sympathize with, we felt indignant. How can food be shoved into mouths? How can children smell of urine? How can human life be so undignified, so humbled?
Then, we paused to think.
The caregivers have dedicated their lives to provide for these unfortunate. But the fact is that they are overworked, they have no time, no choice but to only maintain the physical aspects of life.
If we feel so strongly about the value of these extrinsic elements of humanity, why aren’t we providing the time needed to obtain it?
Why aren’t you volunteering?
I now want to.
I will.
Volunteer.
Like most people, PA is not my first experience with community service, yet it was only during this trip that the importance of community service became etched in my heart.
Guess it really takes someone to inspire us and to propel changes subsequently in our lives. Visiting the various Missionaries of Charity (the Charities initiated by Mother Theresa), we saw the plight of the poorest of the poor, physically and mentally handicapped children abandoned by their parents and people lying in rows unable to move from the line that’s heading to death.
Our hearts were moved. But when we saw the lack of concern given to those whom who sympathize with, we felt indignant. How can food be shoved into mouths? How can children smell of urine? How can human life be so undignified, so humbled?
Then, we paused to think.
The caregivers have dedicated their lives to provide for these unfortunate. But the fact is that they are overworked, they have no time, no choice but to only maintain the physical aspects of life.
If we feel so strongly about the value of these extrinsic elements of humanity, why aren’t we providing the time needed to obtain it?
Why aren’t you volunteering?
I now want to.
I will.
Volunteer.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Thursday, January 06, 2005 |
0 comments
People have been asking me why my msn nick is so vulgar.
“Love is best summed up in 2 words: Fucked up!” and
“Ugh! whole world's breaking up! I hate love. It's phucked up…”
First of all, I must quantify that the above phrase is not my concoction. (Though I wish it was… quite clever I think. Ha…) Got it off a friend whom I consider as a thoughtful person (come to think bout it, I… I…I… look up to MWG. Omigosh! Ugh… scary feeling! haven’t lifted my head up in a long while…)
But the point is that: the originator of the phrase is stably attached, which may seem irrelevant to you, Dr. Logic, but in my pseudo-analytical Arts mind, lends weight to the opinion that love and all its peripheral paraphernalia like crushes, unrequited love, maintenance and of course break-ups are most often, well, fucked up.
Speaking of break-ups, tis a season to be sorry… (yes, wee bit lame I know) but my heart goes out to the 4 (and a half) couples who are going through heart ache now. Sigh… friends around me are falling apart like bowling pins. It really gets to me you know. Not because tears just glisten uncontrollably in my eyes when sensitive sentiments are pierced by the sorrow around me, not because their circumstances evokes great pathos in me, not because their sullen faces causes waves of empathy to well up in the depths of my tender heart…
*violin music and trembling lips while I melodramatically flick away a fat teardrop rolling down my cheek*
but just because this whole love business sucks! Hah!
I hate love.
It really messes up people’s lives. Why can’t we all just live happily with fantastic friends and compatible company? Such a nice simple world, (aaahhh…) uncomplicated by all these love-love shit.
How I wish things can be either this or that. Be happily attached or else happily single. Choose one. Either or. I blame the in-between states that create so many disturbances to life.
(Yea yea… I know it’s all a process. But this is MY ranting k? *bleahz*)
The power of love is that it blinds us all. Those in love are blinded by it. Those not in love are blindly searching for it. And Love takes sadistic pleasure in gorging out our eyes.
Yoohoo! Open your eyes big big!
Watch before you leap.
Look further than your broken heart
and that pool of blood at your feet.
Gosh… angst does bring out the poet in me. Ha…
Just wanna let my friends going through this deep dark valley now that there is light at the end of the tunnel. (cliché cliché I know) But meanwhile, if you need to strike a match here and there, I’m just a phone call or MSN window away.
Take care!
Love you!
Hah… the irony of it.
“Love is best summed up in 2 words: Fucked up!” and
“Ugh! whole world's breaking up! I hate love. It's phucked up…”
First of all, I must quantify that the above phrase is not my concoction. (Though I wish it was… quite clever I think. Ha…) Got it off a friend whom I consider as a thoughtful person (come to think bout it, I… I…I… look up to MWG. Omigosh! Ugh… scary feeling! haven’t lifted my head up in a long while…)
But the point is that: the originator of the phrase is stably attached, which may seem irrelevant to you, Dr. Logic, but in my pseudo-analytical Arts mind, lends weight to the opinion that love and all its peripheral paraphernalia like crushes, unrequited love, maintenance and of course break-ups are most often, well, fucked up.
Speaking of break-ups, tis a season to be sorry… (yes, wee bit lame I know) but my heart goes out to the 4 (and a half) couples who are going through heart ache now. Sigh… friends around me are falling apart like bowling pins. It really gets to me you know. Not because tears just glisten uncontrollably in my eyes when sensitive sentiments are pierced by the sorrow around me, not because their circumstances evokes great pathos in me, not because their sullen faces causes waves of empathy to well up in the depths of my tender heart…
*violin music and trembling lips while I melodramatically flick away a fat teardrop rolling down my cheek*
but just because this whole love business sucks! Hah!
I hate love.
It really messes up people’s lives. Why can’t we all just live happily with fantastic friends and compatible company? Such a nice simple world, (aaahhh…) uncomplicated by all these love-love shit.
How I wish things can be either this or that. Be happily attached or else happily single. Choose one. Either or. I blame the in-between states that create so many disturbances to life.
(Yea yea… I know it’s all a process. But this is MY ranting k? *bleahz*)
The power of love is that it blinds us all. Those in love are blinded by it. Those not in love are blindly searching for it. And Love takes sadistic pleasure in gorging out our eyes.
Yoohoo! Open your eyes big big!
Watch before you leap.
Look further than your broken heart
and that pool of blood at your feet.
Gosh… angst does bring out the poet in me. Ha…
Just wanna let my friends going through this deep dark valley now that there is light at the end of the tunnel. (cliché cliché I know) But meanwhile, if you need to strike a match here and there, I’m just a phone call or MSN window away.
Take care!
Love you!
Hah… the irony of it.
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, January 05, 2005 |
0 comments
Ladies and Gentlemen! Presenting to you, our guest of the day…
*drum roll and flashing spot lights*
Little Miss Cockup!
A round of applause please!
Yes yes… dun look around. It’s me…
Super cocked up day.
For starters, over shot my bus stop coz I fell asleep. Not my one or two stops mind you…but by a good two whole neighborhood! Gosh… Bus went all the way through Sin Ming and the entire Thomson Road before I woke up at the last minute/bus stop and hurriedly got down.
Of course, it slipped my mind to top up my easylink card. So I had to pay cash… urgh!
Wait… there’s more!
Went home… Walked super far in the rain to get to the opposite side bus stop. With super pinching heels too…
Played around with the video function of the digital cam I borrowed from my cousin.
And… ta dah!
I deleted all… yes, ALL the data in the memory card.
ALL!!! All the photos I took in India! All the photos from the Jan 1st outing! All the shots I took with each individual angel…
!@#$%^&*()@#$%^&*(@#$%^&^%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$$%^&*(!!!
sianz…
*pliff*
*drum roll and flashing spot lights*
Little Miss Cockup!
A round of applause please!
Yes yes… dun look around. It’s me…
Super cocked up day.
For starters, over shot my bus stop coz I fell asleep. Not my one or two stops mind you…but by a good two whole neighborhood! Gosh… Bus went all the way through Sin Ming and the entire Thomson Road before I woke up at the last minute/bus stop and hurriedly got down.
Of course, it slipped my mind to top up my easylink card. So I had to pay cash… urgh!
Wait… there’s more!
Went home… Walked super far in the rain to get to the opposite side bus stop. With super pinching heels too…
Played around with the video function of the digital cam I borrowed from my cousin.
And… ta dah!
I deleted all… yes, ALL the data in the memory card.
ALL!!! All the photos I took in India! All the photos from the Jan 1st outing! All the shots I took with each individual angel…
!@#$%^&*()@#$%^&*(@#$%^&^%$#@#$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$$%^&*(!!!
sianz…
*pliff*
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 02, 2005 |
0 comments
High on Life in India... More like red and glowing from blackmore... hee... but just put this up coz PA5 brings out the (social) drinker in me!
In view of the photo of the day… A toast to my smashing start to the new year!
Satisfied my artistic/cultural requirements with Phantom of the Opera in the afternoon. Great soundtrack, mesmerizing cinematography, spectacular choreography and of course extracted a few tears from me. But that’s not surprising lah… I’m pathetically feminine in this aspect. Always cry watching movies… the deep, dark love of the gorgeous phantom was awe-inspiring, every thing else pales in comparison. Ha… Nutcase! Not me… the phantom! *grinz*
An interesting observation (by Javen if I didn’t remember wrongly), for the phantom to love Christine, he must be pedophilic coz he gave her voice lessons since childhood. Hmm…
After that, met up with the (project) angels for dinner at Fish and Co. Ho ho! Had so much fun! Hee… Got a little higher than usual from the red wine. (Thanks Ellyn!) I’m trying to learn how to appreciate fine wine now. Just learnt how to taste and smell the difference during dinner.
Javen and Mingwei went up to sing on the stage at the restaurant… was quite funny coz the singer obviously thought that someone in our group is called Angel. And as a couple of us girls were walking to the toilet, he was still trying to figure it out. Ha… either that he was trying to check us out… Haha!
Another sidenote, poor Mingwei was on medication. So he got super tipsy and gong after just a little half glass of wine. Ai… terrible… can’t hold his liquor.
Unlike me. *hick*
The whole group went over to PS for ice-cream after dinner. Participated in more alcoholism with Rum… and Raisin at Gelare… Sinful!
Yet another P/S…Received a sms from my darling Didi too… that guy’s so cheeky! Anyhow accuse me of going out with guys… ai… my parents also lah… think so er… flirtatiously of me… haha…Made me laugh out loud at his sms… Feng: sms me more often if u can k? Starhub can msg via the website.
My dearest Angel gave me a lift home after the day’s festivities. Really nice of Iggy coz he called me before he left to see if he could give me a lift to dinner but I was already there… Sigh… So nice… my angel… ha…soul touched… =)
Oh yea, my San-bat accuser, MWG was in the car too… just gotta include this bit coz MWG really brings out the most San-bat (Hokkien for 38… can’t think of an equivalent expression in English…) part of me. I sometimes think I ham up my crappiness just to provoke that duh expression on his face. But that’s just another excuse… in addition to my 10-11 pm craziness excuse, my high on life excuse and today… my not-me-it’s-the-alcohol excuse… tee hee hee… oops… I meant reason… hee…
General gist?? Really glad for the company of fun and good friends. Hope there’ll be more angelic moments through the year.
A real drifting cloud today coz I’m high… haha….
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Sunday, January 02, 2005 |
0 comments
It’s the wee hours of the 1st day of 2005 and I’m sitting at home typing.
Guess what?
I’m actually rather excited to be putting my thoughts down into words. Ha… epitome of anti-social behavior.
So glad that there are no plans to bum around and talk nonsense through the night coz I’d rather use the time to consolidate the events of 2004. (Making permanent transient thoughts…) Just back from watch-night service, as a matter of record, and glad that I went, even though I was super overdressed, (had a wedding dinner before that) for the opportunity the sit-down session provided for reflection.
In summary, 2004 was a pretty good year. To begin, I made several good friends, mind you, I distinguish between friends and acquaintances/activity partners/course-mates… so if you see your name here as good friend made in 2004… feel suitably honored.
And the nominees are…in order of appearance…
Hongda (after Dec 2003’s YEP)
Huitian (post YEP and follow-up)
Jinghui (grew closer after Viet class and HTHT)
Mag (who gives me straight talk)
Ian (my philosophical online chat pal)
Norman (who bugs me while monitoring my progress)
Jieying (towards the end of the year when we became phone buddies)
Not to mention friends made in earlier years who touched my life in some special way this…eh…(nope… should start using) last year.
Kelvin who was there when I needed company during exam time.
Yimei who gives me good advice. (in addition to YSL goodies… Heh!)
XX my faithful mugging partner who called my mom (who scares her) just to find out if I was safe in India.
Of course there are many more people who were sparks in the course of the year. They’re not exactly good friends…but worth a special mention anyway…
Jeremy and Wilson who unwittingly dropped illuminating pearls of wisdom here and there during my growing up patch.
Nurul of entertaining conversations, have a hunch she’ll feature a bit more in 05…
My darling brother who gives me sermons on how to live my life better. (Jia you if you’re reading this… you’re Joshua who conquers nations!)
My dad… the man who loves me most.
Mummy… who’s tricky to describe coz of our love-hate-love relationship. We love each other but we just rub each other the wrong way… ha… but we bounce ideas/inspiration off each other.
In addition to the interpersonal side of things, these are some of the things I’ve done: (Realized that the first half of the year is already fuzzy in my memory)
12 months Timothy co-ordination
6 worship leading
1 year of mentorship
2 semesters of NUS
2-3 years old Sunday school class
1-2 on the spot English-Mandarin translation
1 FOC chairmanship
3 weeks attachment at Catholic High
2-3 weeks temping in church office
1 CG leader-ing
2 blogs started
1 YEP facilitator-ship
(And a partridge in a pear tree… ha…)
Oh yea, how can I forget… yours truly became of legal age! To be honest, I would say that most things on the above (extremely long and slightly show-off) list went quite smoothly. Hee… ego! In case anyone has forgotten… it’s MY blog! Who cares what people think… *bleahz* and *neh neh ni boo boo*
Ha!
Oh! Oh! My waist line reached a record low this year too! Haha…
On a more serious note…
Somewhere during the course of 2004, I also gotten over my first and only BF. Towards the end of the year, I’ve also come to terms with a “fling”. (Just a side note, I suspect I’ve also gotten over QS coz try as I might, I can’t remember his hp no… haha… totally irrelevant point and even more irrelevant substantiation of my point… but I still don’t dare to claim that I’m completely over coz I don’t particularly like the taste of my words… u know… I don’t like to eat my own words? Get it?? Ha…)
On the later, despite all my moaning about that (click on archives if you need to refresh ur memory), it dawned on me at the last hours of 2004 that I’m actually quite thankful that things happened this way.
Firstly, I’m glad that things came to an end before matters got even more complicated. Secondly, I’m thankful that even though I went through an emotional roller-coaster ride just before the exams, I did pretty ok. Hee…
Thirdly, the events made me… a better person? In that I now reflect more and I’m more appreciative of the people around me.
Fourthly, my approach and attitude towards “flirtations” is now much more prudent, sensible and (I hate to use that word) guai…Ever the advocate of “next guy is the guy”, this lady has modified the definition of that phrase to be less ambiguous. No more sampling of side dishes…(I’m dieting lah!)
Fifthly, I have a better idea of who I want, how to act and react in a relationship… etc etc…the usual cliché lessons learnt post breakup…
Sixthly, without the initial self-pity/nursing of wounds, I couldn’t have that potentially 2005-changing experience during Mass at Mother House.
Yep… quite an eventful 56 weeks uh?
When not so nice things happen, the common response would be to… well, feel sad. I think I go through periods of stress and shit like other people. And like many of my girl friends, I get moody/angst-ridden and depressed about it. But as mentioned in the conversation I had with Bel the other day, there’s no need to worry too much about me coz I have my faith to fall back on. I’m not perfect. I struggle. I brood. I say mean things to people. I’m a lot of not very nice things at times but I’m never hopeless.
Thank God!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some thoughts condensed but the drifting cloud is still cumulonimbus…
Guess what?
I’m actually rather excited to be putting my thoughts down into words. Ha… epitome of anti-social behavior.
So glad that there are no plans to bum around and talk nonsense through the night coz I’d rather use the time to consolidate the events of 2004. (Making permanent transient thoughts…) Just back from watch-night service, as a matter of record, and glad that I went, even though I was super overdressed, (had a wedding dinner before that) for the opportunity the sit-down session provided for reflection.
In summary, 2004 was a pretty good year. To begin, I made several good friends, mind you, I distinguish between friends and acquaintances/activity partners/course-mates… so if you see your name here as good friend made in 2004… feel suitably honored.
And the nominees are…in order of appearance…
Hongda (after Dec 2003’s YEP)
Huitian (post YEP and follow-up)
Jinghui (grew closer after Viet class and HTHT)
Mag (who gives me straight talk)
Ian (my philosophical online chat pal)
Norman (who bugs me while monitoring my progress)
Jieying (towards the end of the year when we became phone buddies)
Not to mention friends made in earlier years who touched my life in some special way this…eh…(nope… should start using) last year.
Kelvin who was there when I needed company during exam time.
Yimei who gives me good advice. (in addition to YSL goodies… Heh!)
XX my faithful mugging partner who called my mom (who scares her) just to find out if I was safe in India.
Of course there are many more people who were sparks in the course of the year. They’re not exactly good friends…but worth a special mention anyway…
Jeremy and Wilson who unwittingly dropped illuminating pearls of wisdom here and there during my growing up patch.
Nurul of entertaining conversations, have a hunch she’ll feature a bit more in 05…
My darling brother who gives me sermons on how to live my life better. (Jia you if you’re reading this… you’re Joshua who conquers nations!)
My dad… the man who loves me most.
Mummy… who’s tricky to describe coz of our love-hate-love relationship. We love each other but we just rub each other the wrong way… ha… but we bounce ideas/inspiration off each other.
In addition to the interpersonal side of things, these are some of the things I’ve done: (Realized that the first half of the year is already fuzzy in my memory)
12 months Timothy co-ordination
6 worship leading
1 year of mentorship
2 semesters of NUS
2-3 years old Sunday school class
1-2 on the spot English-Mandarin translation
1 FOC chairmanship
3 weeks attachment at Catholic High
2-3 weeks temping in church office
1 CG leader-ing
2 blogs started
1 YEP facilitator-ship
(And a partridge in a pear tree… ha…)
Oh yea, how can I forget… yours truly became of legal age! To be honest, I would say that most things on the above (extremely long and slightly show-off) list went quite smoothly. Hee… ego! In case anyone has forgotten… it’s MY blog! Who cares what people think… *bleahz* and *neh neh ni boo boo*
Ha!
Oh! Oh! My waist line reached a record low this year too! Haha…
On a more serious note…
Somewhere during the course of 2004, I also gotten over my first and only BF. Towards the end of the year, I’ve also come to terms with a “fling”. (Just a side note, I suspect I’ve also gotten over QS coz try as I might, I can’t remember his hp no… haha… totally irrelevant point and even more irrelevant substantiation of my point… but I still don’t dare to claim that I’m completely over coz I don’t particularly like the taste of my words… u know… I don’t like to eat my own words? Get it?? Ha…)
On the later, despite all my moaning about that (click on archives if you need to refresh ur memory), it dawned on me at the last hours of 2004 that I’m actually quite thankful that things happened this way.
Firstly, I’m glad that things came to an end before matters got even more complicated. Secondly, I’m thankful that even though I went through an emotional roller-coaster ride just before the exams, I did pretty ok. Hee…
Thirdly, the events made me… a better person? In that I now reflect more and I’m more appreciative of the people around me.
Fourthly, my approach and attitude towards “flirtations” is now much more prudent, sensible and (I hate to use that word) guai…Ever the advocate of “next guy is the guy”, this lady has modified the definition of that phrase to be less ambiguous. No more sampling of side dishes…(I’m dieting lah!)
Fifthly, I have a better idea of who I want, how to act and react in a relationship… etc etc…the usual cliché lessons learnt post breakup…
Sixthly, without the initial self-pity/nursing of wounds, I couldn’t have that potentially 2005-changing experience during Mass at Mother House.
Yep… quite an eventful 56 weeks uh?
When not so nice things happen, the common response would be to… well, feel sad. I think I go through periods of stress and shit like other people. And like many of my girl friends, I get moody/angst-ridden and depressed about it. But as mentioned in the conversation I had with Bel the other day, there’s no need to worry too much about me coz I have my faith to fall back on. I’m not perfect. I struggle. I brood. I say mean things to people. I’m a lot of not very nice things at times but I’m never hopeless.
Thank God!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some thoughts condensed but the drifting cloud is still cumulonimbus…
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Saturday, January 01, 2005 |
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