It’s nice getting a mention on someone’s blog. Saw my name in full on A’s weblog and it was quite an Oh! Hmm… Cool! moment. A rather cheap thrill really but still a thrill nevertheless. The same thrill I got when IT msged and wanted to meet up… Realized these few days that featuring, whether very or just slightly or none at all, in the lives of others is rather significant to me.
This needy nature kinda disturbs me. Think this is one of those major unresolved issues in my life – my need to be loved by everybody. It comes in different forms, sometimes I say that I need to be respected, other times it’s expressed as being desired… guess what I’m trying to say is that there are different forms to the same underlying need.
I’m darn insecure I think. Not secure in accepting and loving myself for who and what I am. This results in these consequent needs. Replacement therapy? Very likely.
Sigh… kinda down these few days when I’m left alone… Seeing others move on with their lives in bliss highlights my own lonely state. I’m happy to see them happy really. But then I’m just caught in the dichotomy of being mentally very aware that I need to stay love-free but yet emotionally seeking solace. In a sense I’m glad that I see the trap before me, which is why I place extra emphasis on the nice friends I have around me. Coz whether you are aware of it or not, I need your company to pull through this low patch. So dear friend, if you are reading this, be generous in spending time with me k?
That’s quite a sad plea huh?
This needy nature kinda disturbs me. Think this is one of those major unresolved issues in my life – my need to be loved by everybody. It comes in different forms, sometimes I say that I need to be respected, other times it’s expressed as being desired… guess what I’m trying to say is that there are different forms to the same underlying need.
I’m darn insecure I think. Not secure in accepting and loving myself for who and what I am. This results in these consequent needs. Replacement therapy? Very likely.
Sigh… kinda down these few days when I’m left alone… Seeing others move on with their lives in bliss highlights my own lonely state. I’m happy to see them happy really. But then I’m just caught in the dichotomy of being mentally very aware that I need to stay love-free but yet emotionally seeking solace. In a sense I’m glad that I see the trap before me, which is why I place extra emphasis on the nice friends I have around me. Coz whether you are aware of it or not, I need your company to pull through this low patch. So dear friend, if you are reading this, be generous in spending time with me k?
That’s quite a sad plea huh?
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Friday, January 14, 2005 |
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