So many thoughts ran through my mind today. Thought I better get it down before they simply just dissipate.
During Lit class today, saw M reading this blog that I’ve just stumbled upon as well. Was informed that the guy, whom I’ve never talked to, bitched bout me in his blog. Even though the bitching in question happened last semester, was quite taken aback and affected by that. I think it was about this Feminism presentation which I was/am quite embarrassed by. As in, I think I made a fool of myself during the presentation. Guess that it was an insecure spot which caused me to be really affected and bothered. Really felt like I should go snoop around and find out exactly what he bitched about. But in the end, decided not to… what’s the point right? It happened so long ago and the fact that someone doesn’t think highly of me has not affected me, so why should knowing it now affect me right?
Which brings me to “Closer” that I watched with the girls (plus a boyfriend):
When should we know the truth? When do we tell it? (won’t go into plot details just in case I spoil anybody’s fun) But I make it a personal policy never to lie. So, when asked questions that I know the model answer to, I do make an effort to give the next best answer. This has gotten me into trouble before. Like in the typical situation where you have someone ask: “Do you love me?” I never have a good answer to that.
Firstly, either I’m so freaked out that I don’t know what to say and give some cock and bull answer in an attempt to try and change the topic. Or that whatever I’m feeling (to me) is not intense enough to quantify as ‘love’ (the word is sacred, don’t ever use it loosely people, it should sincerely mean something) So, I’ll have answers which comes in a range:
love
intensely like
like
experiencing a mutual crush with
have a crush on
infatuated with
interested in
fancy
Which really takes away the romance and beauty of the moment… Ha… But seriously, they are degrees of similar sensations right? And not forgetting the extra bonus that the sucky answer is the best proof, knowing that when I do say something, it’ll be the truth and nothing but the truth…
But after watching the movie today, I’m beginning to wonder if the hurt that truth inflicts is worth it. Is it necessary to experience the undiluted truth? Maybe just accepting something that’s not as pure may actually be better, coz then life would be at least bearable… mediocre may not be exciting, but it is always palatable.
A couple more thoughts ran past my mind today. But too tired to put it all out now…
Oh yea, American Lit test went ok I guess. Thanks to those concerned…
During Lit class today, saw M reading this blog that I’ve just stumbled upon as well. Was informed that the guy, whom I’ve never talked to, bitched bout me in his blog. Even though the bitching in question happened last semester, was quite taken aback and affected by that. I think it was about this Feminism presentation which I was/am quite embarrassed by. As in, I think I made a fool of myself during the presentation. Guess that it was an insecure spot which caused me to be really affected and bothered. Really felt like I should go snoop around and find out exactly what he bitched about. But in the end, decided not to… what’s the point right? It happened so long ago and the fact that someone doesn’t think highly of me has not affected me, so why should knowing it now affect me right?
Which brings me to “Closer” that I watched with the girls (plus a boyfriend):
When should we know the truth? When do we tell it? (won’t go into plot details just in case I spoil anybody’s fun) But I make it a personal policy never to lie. So, when asked questions that I know the model answer to, I do make an effort to give the next best answer. This has gotten me into trouble before. Like in the typical situation where you have someone ask: “Do you love me?” I never have a good answer to that.
Firstly, either I’m so freaked out that I don’t know what to say and give some cock and bull answer in an attempt to try and change the topic. Or that whatever I’m feeling (to me) is not intense enough to quantify as ‘love’ (the word is sacred, don’t ever use it loosely people, it should sincerely mean something) So, I’ll have answers which comes in a range:
love
intensely like
like
experiencing a mutual crush with
have a crush on
infatuated with
interested in
fancy
Which really takes away the romance and beauty of the moment… Ha… But seriously, they are degrees of similar sensations right? And not forgetting the extra bonus that the sucky answer is the best proof, knowing that when I do say something, it’ll be the truth and nothing but the truth…
But after watching the movie today, I’m beginning to wonder if the hurt that truth inflicts is worth it. Is it necessary to experience the undiluted truth? Maybe just accepting something that’s not as pure may actually be better, coz then life would be at least bearable… mediocre may not be exciting, but it is always palatable.
A couple more thoughts ran past my mind today. But too tired to put it all out now…
Oh yea, American Lit test went ok I guess. Thanks to those concerned…
cLoUd DriFteD bY @ Wednesday, March 02, 2005 |
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